God's Gift

You always made me feel safe. Alone in the world, I knew I had you. Everything I needed, you gave to me no questions. And I took and took until you gave no more. 

I counted on you to cheer me and heal me and take away the pain. You absorbed the darkness building in my heart to let me live in the light. I marveled in your magic and took you for granted.

Too late I realized the love you held-the love I didn't share. Too long had passed to start again and friendship faded. I loved you later. I love you now. We both love someone else.

You may as well be 16,857 kilometers away-the distance that separates us too great to overcome. I thought about you yesterday and the day before. You wished me a "Happy Birthday." You remembered. You cared. 

You told me no guy was worthy of me waiting by the phone. I waited for no one, but you. I wait still with butterflies and open arms for an email that never comes. You know I used you.

It didn't go well, the last time we talked. Or the time before that. If you had only showed up when invited, I would have walked in your path for good. I dug my hole.

I would dig all the way to China if it meant reconciliation. My other half. Anxiety and tension float away when I know you think of me. I linger on your words. Breathe again.

I purge my memories of you. I write the story of us. A timeless tale. I wonder where your perception differs. Perhaps when I am done I will think of you no more. Perhaps our story isn't over. 

I've squandered God's Gift to me.