One Sweet Mofo

What's better than a tasty alcoholic beverage? That same adult drink in a sweet cupcake form! I bring you, the Screwdriver Cupcake!!!

For those of you unfamiliar with a Screwdriver, mix vodka with orange juice to taste. So easy a child could do it (though not recommended). So how, you ask, do you make a screwdriver cupcake? Even easier! (Not really, I am using literary embellishment-baking a cupcake from scratch is actually more difficult and time-consuming than mixing a drink.) I actually adapted the recipe from The Recipe Link. (Recipe copied below with my notes in purple). With a drink in hand and a helper in the kitchen, Daniel and I set forth to conquer the Screwdriver Cupcake.

The Cupcake:
3 eggs
1 1/2 sticks unsalted butter
1 1/2 cups sugar
2 teaspoons grated orange zest **I didn't feel like doing this, so I mixed in 2 tsp orange marmalade instead.
2 1/2 cups flour
2 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1/4 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup orange juice **I used Simply Orange No Pulp-it really is the only way to go!
1/2 cup orange-flavored vodka **I used regular Smirnoff vodka because I forgot it needed to be orange-flavored at the grocery store when I bought it and my husband even asked me if it should be, we argued-he was more correct than I was.

1 cup sweetened flake coconut **I absolutely DESPISE coconut so I left this out.

1. Preheat to 350 degrees F. Line cupcake pan.

2. Beat eggs until pale and foamy. In a mixing bowl, cream butter; mix in sugar and orange zest (orange marmalade). Beat in the eggs; set aside. 

3. In a bowl, combine flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. (I enlisted my brother, Daniel, to help with the heavy lifting).

4. In another bowl, mix together orange juice and vodka. 

5. Add flour and vodka mixtures to egg mixture in three alternating additions. Fold in coconut (If you want...). Divide batter into muffin cups. 

**The recipe should make 12 cupcakes. I fill my cups 3/4 full and wound up with 12 regular-sized cupcakes and enough batter leftover for 24 mini cupcakes. 

6. Bake for 21-23 minutes. Let cool completely before frosting. 

**I baked my large cupcakes for 20 minutes and they came out slightly harder than I like. The mini cupcakes stayed in for 10 minutes and were perfectly spongey when they emerged. 

I couldn't wait to eat one. It was worth the burnt tongue!!

The Orange-Vodka Buttercream:

3/4 stick unsalted butter

2 cups confectioners' sugar

1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract

3 tablespoons orange juice

1/2 cup heavy cream

3 tablespoons vodka

1. In a mixing bowl, cream butter and sugar 3-5 minutes or until light and fluffy. **My lovely assistant mixed this concoction for 5 minutes to lumpy sugar results. We nuked the mess for 10 seconds to no avail. finally, we added the vanilla in early and mixed for another 5 minutes until light and fluffy. 

2. Mix in vanilla, orange juice and cream. Fold in vodka. **After we added the orange juice, the icing was way too watery. My brother, the helper, mixed on medium setting for 2-3 more minutes until it thickened, then we added the cream and mixed for another 2-3 minutes. after adding the vodka, I tried folding the icing, as instructed, but it was so runny and then the sugar began to lump. I threw it back under the blender until it thickened and was fluffy. 

**I added red and yellow food coloring to give the icing an orange tint and then experimented with different piping and sprinkle for fun!

The Result:

My brother, my husband and I actually really liked this recipe! The cupcake mix, before baked, tasted a lot like a sugar cookie with a hint of orange. I suppose if I actually used the orange zest and orange-flavored vodka, like instructed,  it probably would have been a lot stronger, but it was still super tasty! The icing had more orange flavor, but it wasn't over-powering. Overall, the cupcake tasted very light and was perfect for the start of summer. 

Cupcakes did not actually result in underage drinking. 

One Sweet MoFo

Tis the season... No, not Christmas although there is a lot of red and green involved. I'm talking little Girl Scouts running around with their annual fundraiser selling cookies. Let the bloodshed ensue. I actually pity the poor Boy Scouts stuck with selling popcorn to raise money. Popcorn just can't compare to those infamous cookies.

My adorable little cousin, Erica is a Girl Scout for the first time this year. Her mom, Eva is the troop leader and my cunning, manipulative sister, Jen is the co-leader. Long story short, I have 40 boxes of Girl Scout cookies. True story. I even have the Girl Scout Badge for being the person to purchase the most to prove it.

So what can a dieting girl like me do with 40 boxes of Girl Scout cookies? Although I have my newly inherited 19-year-old brother roommate and my husband-who wishes he could still eat like he was 19 years old, and although I gave a few boxes away to some guys at work, The dilemma remained: What do I do with (now) 32 boxes of GS cookies? What any other self-respecting cupcake-a-teer would do.

 Introducing: Girl Scout Cookie cupcakes.

Not only were these cupcakes delicious, but they were the easiest batch to make. I was fresh off a business trip in Sacramento and was packing for a trip to Phoenix when I decided to whip these bad boys up and take them to my hungry family back in the 6-oh-2.

Chocolate Cupcake
1 box chocolate cake mix

3 eggs

some water

some vegetable oil

So I cheated and didn't make these from scratch. I was exhausted-get over it.

I am hoity-toity enough to use bottled water, but feel free to mix your $4 box of GSC with plain-old tap.

Begin by having your brother-who-lives-with-you-rent-free line the cupcake pan with adorable colored cupcake wrappers. I chose yellow, blue, and blue/green striped. 

Next, instruct your live-in slave to place a GSC in each cup. We went with Thin Mints and Tagalongs for variety. Other GSC include Samoas, Trefoils and Do-Si-Dos. 

Have someone who owes you BIG TIME mix the appropriate amount of proper ingredients according to the side of the box in a bowl. 

Finally, have rude-boy-who-shocked-me-with-his-medical-electrical-device-thingy-even-though-I-let-him-totally-mooch-from-me scoop the batter into the cups 2/3rd full over the cookie. 

The box makes 18 cupcake. Unless someones little brother doesn't read the instructions and puts too little batter in each cup while you're not looking and you wind up with 21 cupcakes, but you don't feel like cleaning out the pan again for a batch of 3 cupcakes, but you don't want the batter to go to waste so you take turns licking the bowl, spatula and all spoons clean! 

The cupcakes bake for approximately 18 minutes. We let them cool for 30 minutes before frosting. Of course, I used the complimentary store-bought dark chocolate frosting and just spread it on with a knife. 

The Result:

The cookies baked at the bottom beautifully. They softened, but didn't melt so you wound with with a chewy, somewhat crunchy cupcake instead of an ooey-gooey mess which I feared. The Thin Mints added just a touch of cool, refreshing mint to the spongey cake. The Tagalongs added a sticky peanut butter taste. I took a few in to work and the rest drove 350 miles to Phoenix where my family gobbled them up. All were impressed and really enjoyed them. It really was a simple but interesting treat!

One Sweet MoFo

As promised, lime cupcakes with Patron icing!

I have been so busy, I haven't had a chance to post these awesome creations until now! My friend Collin visited from Phoenix back in January and he helped me in the kitchen for this fun cupcake creation. We behaved ourselves and didn't do any Patron shots until the cupcakes were baking and the icing was already mixed, then it was game on!

Lime Cupcake
1/4 cup lime juice
1 1/4 teaspoon lime zest (2 limes)
1 cup milk (I used 1%)
1/4 cup vegetable oil
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 teaspoon Patron
1 cup powdered sugar
1 1/3 cup all purpose flour
1/4 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Line cupcake pan.
2. Briefly blend lime juice, lime zest, milk, vegetable oil, Patron, vanilla extract in large bowl. Mix in the sugar.

3. In a separate bowl combine the flour, baking soda, baking powder, and salt.
4. Add the dry ingredients to the lime mixture slowly. Blend until completely combined.
5. Fill cupcake liners 2/3 full. Makes 18 full sized cupcakes.
6. Bake 22 minutes or until light brown on top and cake is spongy.

Patron Lime Frosting
1/4 cup melted unsalted butter
1 tablespoon milk (I used the same 1%)
3 tablespoon lime juice
1 tablespoon Patron (I used a full shot and it made the taste REALLY strong)
2-5 cups powdered sugar (I used about 4 cups for a thicker icing I could pipe)
green food coloring (optional)
coarse sugar and salt (optional for decoration)

1. Cream together butter, milk, lime juice and Patron.

2. Mix in sugar 1 cup at a time until desired thickness is reached. Blend thoroughly. At 2-3 cups of sugar I added 4 drops of green food coloring for fun.

3. Pipe or frost cooled cupcakes. Roll sides in the sugar or salt as "rims."

RESULT:
So it wasn't until after I made them I realized I HATE lime cupcakes. I mean, seriously BLEH! It didn't help that the Patron icing was so runny from the Patron, I had to add more powdered sugar to thicken it up. After 6 cups of powdered sugar, it was still a runny mess and just dripped out of the piping bag. Then-surprise!-it tasted like Patron flavored powdered sugar. And not in a good way. Overall, I so disgusted and embarrassed by these cupcakes I didn't even take them in to work for the guys to eat. I work with a variety of nasty, dirty, grungy contractors who I have literally witnessed drop a hot dog on the floor then pick it up, brush off the dirt from the warehouse, and eat it without even claiming the "5 second-rule" and I refused to subject them to these creations. I dare someone else to try this recipe or any variation and let me know if you can get this tasting any better.

One Sweet MoFo

"In Soviet Russia, Cakes Cup You"

My cupcake take on the White Russian, my favorite mix drink! The hazelnut-y goodness of the Kahlua mixed with the bite of vodka in a moist, tasty little cake and super sweet Kahlua icing.  Yum!!

I was lucky enough to have my loving husband as my assistant this round. It was great because he has even less cupcakery experience then I do, so I was able to be a know-it-all and he didn't know any better!

I had him do all the grunt work and I was able to focus on the fun stuff. Like licking the bowl and watching the timer. Sometimes it's better if I only do the little things. 

Had to experiment with the bake time since we were cooking with alcohol and making mini cupcakes. Turns out 10 minutes at the front of the oven made them light and fluffy. Couldn't figure out what combination made them stop sticking to the paper cups though.

The recipe makes 24 large cupcakes. Or about 150 mini cupcakes. I took a couple dozen to work and my customers loved them. I got so many compliments and the guys wanted to know where I bought them. Of course, unusual flavors make it easier to pass off any mistakes as the result of an interesting combination.

FROSTED. The Kahlua made the whole kitchen smell super sweet. Also, I'm getting better at my frosting technique and even started to work on a new swirl. You can kind of see both variations here.

Without further ado....the recipe. Let's start with the ingredients:

White Russian Cupcake
1 1/2 sticks of butter
3 eggs
2 1/2 cups all purpose flour
2 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 3/4 cup sugar
1 1/2 teaspoon vanilla
1 cup milk
1/4 cup vodka
1/4 cup Kahlua

1. Preheat oven to 375.
2. Stir together the flour, baking powder, and salt in a bowl.
3. In a separate bowl, mix the milk (I used 1%), vodka (I used UV Vodka), and Kahlua.
4. Cream the butter and sugar in a mixing bowl then add the eggs in one at a time. Add vanilla to the mix. 5. 5. Now add part of the flour mix to the mixing bowl and beat. Then add part of the milk mixture and combine. Alternate the milk and flour into the mix. DO NOT OVER-MIX.
6. Fill cupcake liners 2/3 full of batter. Bake mini cupcakes for 10 minutes. Bake full-sized cupcakes for 20 minutes. Make sure toothpick comes out clean when checking the batter and the cupcake sponges back when touched.

Kahlua Buttercream Frosting
1 stick butter
4-5 cups powdered sugar
3-4 shots Kahlua

1. Cream the butter then alternately add the powdered sugar and Kahlua to your taste preference.
2. Frost or pipe the cupcakes when cool.


Here's a preview of the next batch:

Happy Cup-Caking!

911 On Standby...I'm Making Cupcakes!

My mom came to town a few weeks ago and while here, we visited the cutest cupcake bakery aptly named The Cupcakery. Twice. $54.21 later, I became addicted to the delectable little treats. While out shopping, I bought a "Cupcakes Make Me Smile" t-shirt and cupcake recipe book. I was hooked and the cupcake addition to the dream candy store I want to one day operate, One Sweet MoFu, was born. Now I just had to learn to bake.

First Step: the grocery store for ingredient. I decided to make mini cupcakes because tiny things make me happy and, in a more strategic point, if I totally botched them, nobody would have to suffer through a full size cupcake. One quick bite and they had an easy out.

Shopping list in hand, I hit up Wal-Mart. If you have never experienced Wally World 16 days before Christmas, allow me to explain how much you are missing. Whatever you are looking for, rest assured, you will find un-packaged and strewn on the floor. The pickings are slim and the shelves are bare. Lines are 27 people deep with only 3 registers open. And the always happy, ever-helpful, Wal-Mart workers are moving as fast as molasses without a care in the world. I walked around that store for over an hour looking for shortening and orange marmalade before I finally broke down and texted my Facebook peeps to figure out what those even were and what aisle they could be located. The real dilemma of the night was choosing flour. There was bleached flour, all purpose flour, wheat enriched flour, organic flour...Thankfully, Wal-Mart's generic branding flour anticipated the tragic lack of culinary education it's patrons may encounter and graciously decorated it's bag of all purpose flour with cupcakes. It was the last bag and without that little savior, I may still be at Wal-Mart! A Christmas miracle!

Next Step: baking the cupcakes. For those of you that know me, to say I'm not really a baker would be an understatement. I single-handedly set my oven on fire while heating up corn dogs. If left to my own devices in the kitchen, I could accomplish nothing more than burning boiled water-my talent is limitless. Therefore, to tackle the feat of baking 50 mini cupcakes from scratch and topping them with homemade icing, I unleashed my hidden weapon: Alyson.

Beautiful Alyson, an amateur chef writing her own cookbook, naively agreed to supervise my cooking debut. She read off the directions while I mixed, beat, folded, whipped and overall abused the raw ingredients. Alyson patiently guided me through the process and we successfully made 30 chocolate chip banana nut cupcakes and 24 sweet orange cupcakes. 

The Journey Continues: making icing while cupcakes cool. I love chocolate with bananas, so I chose a chocolate-Kahlua icing as the perfect mate to my banana nut cupcake. Without Alyson, I never would have made it past the first direction to melt 1 brick of semi-sweet baker's chocolate. We encountered a minor snafu after realizing (yet again, you'd think I would remember this by now) that I do not have a microwave, but Alyson intelligently set up a makeshift stove-top double boiler and we were good after that point. Alyson scooped the icing into the decorator's bag while I held it and then showed me how to pipe on the icing. The first 20 looked pretty sad, but I eventually got the hang of things.

I continued piping while Alyson prepared the cream cheese frosting for the orange cupcakes. The recipe called for nutmeg flavoring which wasn't on my original list of ingredients, so we substituted more orange flavoring instead. It wasn't until the very end of our baking session as we were putting away the milk and shortening that we realized we never used those ingredients. Turns out, I was supposed to make a butter-cream icing instead of cream cheese frosting. Left on my own, I would have panicked, but Alyson's quick thinking to change the recipe saved the day.

The End Result: nothing left to do but chow. The final touches in my attempt to decorate were made and the cupcakes chilled in the fridge for 30 minutes. They were absolutely de-lish, if I do say so myself! Sweet orange cupcakes with orange cream cheese frosting and chocolate chip banana-nut cupcakes with chocolate Kahlua icing topped with mini Nilla Wafers.

Overall, it was a really fun night! I think I will try a few new recipes next week for Christmas. Any requests, my PHX guinea pigs?