Showing posts with label Daniel. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Daniel. Show all posts

Sunday, April 22, 2012

One Sweet Mofo

What's better than a tasty alcoholic beverage? That same adult drink in a sweet cupcake form! I bring you, the Screwdriver Cupcake!!!






For those of you unfamiliar with a Screwdriver, mix vodka with orange juice to taste. So easy a child could do it (though not recommended). So how, you ask, do you make a screwdriver cupcake? Even easier! (Not really, I am using literary embellishment-baking a cupcake from scratch is actually more difficult and time-consuming than mixing a drink.) I actually adapted the recipe from The Recipe Link. (Recipe copied below with my notes in purple). With a drink in hand and a helper in the kitchen, Daniel and I set forth to conquer the Screwdriver Cupcake.



The Cupcake:
3 eggs
1 1/2 sticks unsalted butter
1 1/2 cups sugar
2 teaspoons grated orange zest **I didn't feel like doing this, so I mixed in 2 tsp orange marmalade instead.
2 1/2 cups flour
2 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1/4 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup orange juice **I used Simply Orange No Pulp-it really is the only way to go!
1/2 cup orange-flavored vodka **I used regular Smirnoff vodka because I forgot it needed to be orange-flavored at the grocery store when I bought it and my husband even asked me if it should be, we argued-he was more correct than I was.

1 cup sweetened flake coconut **I absolutely DESPISE coconut so I left this out.

1. Preheat to 350 degrees F. Line cupcake pan.

2. Beat eggs until pale and foamy. In a mixing bowl, cream butter; mix in sugar and orange zest (orange marmalade). Beat in the eggs; set aside. 
3. In a bowl, combine flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. (I enlisted my brother, Daniel, to help with the heavy lifting).


4. In another bowl, mix together orange juice and vodka. 
5. Add flour and vodka mixtures to egg mixture in three alternating additions. Fold in coconut (If you want...). Divide batter into muffin cups. 

**The recipe should make 12 cupcakes. I fill my cups 3/4 full and wound up with 12 regular-sized cupcakes and enough batter leftover for 24 mini cupcakes. 



6. Bake for 21-23 minutes. Let cool completely before frosting. 

**I baked my large cupcakes for 20 minutes and they came out slightly harder than I like. The mini cupcakes stayed in for 10 minutes and were perfectly spongey when they emerged

I couldn't wait to eat one. It was worth the burnt tongue!!


The Orange-Vodka Buttercream:

3/4 stick unsalted butter
2 cups confectioners' sugar
1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract
3 tablespoons orange juice
1/2 cup heavy cream
3 tablespoons vodka

1. In a mixing bowl, cream butter and sugar 3-5 minutes or until light and fluffy. **My lovely assistant mixed this concoction for 5 minutes to lumpy sugar results. We nuked the mess for 10 seconds to no avail. finally, we added the vanilla in early and mixed for another 5 minutes until light and fluffy. 


2. Mix in vanilla, orange juice and cream. Fold in vodka. **After we added the orange juice, the icing was way too watery. My brother, the helper, mixed on medium setting for 2-3 more minutes until it thickened, then we added the cream and mixed for another 2-3 minutes. after adding the vodka, I tried folding the icing, as instructed, but it was so runny and then the sugar began to lump. I threw it back under the blender until it thickened and was fluffy. 




**I added red and yellow food coloring to give the icing an orange tint and then experimented with different piping and sprinkle for fun!

The Result:
My brother, my husband and I actually really liked this recipe! The cupcake mix, before baked, tasted a lot like a sugar cookie with a hint of orange. I suppose if I actually used the orange zest and orange-flavored vodka, like instructed,  it probably would have been a lot stronger, but it was still super tasty! The icing had more orange flavor, but it wasn't over-powering. Overall, the cupcake tasted very light and was perfect for the start of summer. 



Cupcakes did not actually result in underage drinking. 










Saturday, June 18, 2011

When A Prank Goes Too Far

Let me preface this post with some background. My teenage brother recently moved in with me and my husband. It has been interesting having him (6 years my junior) as a roommate, but overall it has been pretty cool. He cleans up after himself, doesn't hog the remote, and even cooks dinner 3 nights a week. However, he also has a pesky problem: he pranks me constantly.

To date, he has haunted me with annoying renditions of Europe's Final Countdown (you can reference: FINAL COUNTDOWN), switched my decorative crystals in the kitchen with other colors then periodically moves them or hides them to irritate me, tore out the last page of the last book in a 900 page trilogy I was reading-right before I left on a business trip and couldn't murder him, placed paper propped-up cutouts of Keanu Reeves sitting down eating a sandwich in random places like my desk, the dryer, the pantry, my shower...


He even got me by spiking my glass of water with pure mint extract-so much that my mouth was numb for hours. 
RE:


  • Valerie  Can you bring me my water?
    May 26 at 9:59pm · 

  • Daniel  hehe ya..ya sure ill ring you your "water"
    May 26 at 10:00pm · 

  • Daniel  bring*
    May 26 at 10:00pm · 

  • Valerie  Wait. why did you " " water? Please don't spit in it.
    May 26 at 10:00pm · 

  • Daniel  oh no c'mon im your brother, our spit is practically the same thing. what i am doing is much "better"
    May 26 at 10:01pm · 

  • Valerie  That just sounds dirty now.
    May 26 at 10:02pm · 

  • Daniel  oh dont worry its water all right but im not gonna tell you where i got it
    May 26 at 10:04pm · 

  • Valerie  i hate you
    May 26 at 10:04pm · 

  • Bryce  I'm adding this current chat me and Valerie have had to my list of dumb things "customers" say... I asked what she was using to listen to music and she gave me everything but...
    May 26 at 10:05pm · 

  • Bryce  Daniel's even dumber! Comes running into my office yelling... I WORK FROM HOME!
    May 26 at 10:07pm · 

  • Valerie  Daniel, my water tastes minty. WTF did you do?
    May 26 at 10:07pm ·  ·  1 person

  • Daniel  shut up bryce. for some reason i thought you were still on break
    May 26 at 10:08pm · 

  • Daniel  wait for it
    May 26 at 10:09pm · 

  • Valerie  I am dead serious! What did I just put in my mouth?
    May 26 at 10:09pm · 

  • Bryce  Um...
    May 26 at 10:10pm · 

  • Daniel  hey you just came down here and got your water yourself
    May 26 at 10:10pm · 

  • Valerie  he promised not to put anything in my water yet after one sip, my mouth is numb and tingly.
    May 26 at 10:10pm · 

  • Valerie  Daniel Brian! Tell me right now what you did.
    May 26 at 10:11pm · 

  • Daniel  hey hey hey i did not tamper with your water. its nothing but pure H2O . that i know of
    May 26 at 10:12pm · 

  • Valerie  Fine then. what did you do to the glass? And why does your hand smell funny?
    May 26 at 10:12pm · 

  • Daniel  does it still taste bad
    May 26 at 10:13pm · 

  • Valerie  NVM.I do NOT want to know.
    May 26 at 10:13pm · 

  • Daniel  haha its nothing that will kill you
    May 26 at 10:13pm · 

  • Daniel  wait what are you allergic too again?
    May 26 at 10:13pm · 

  • Valerie  There's lots of things that won't kill me, but I don't stick those in my mouth. It's unpleasant.
    May 26 at 10:14pm · 

  • Max  I must say that this is entertaining.
    May 26 at 10:15pm · 

  • Valerie  Daniel just ran up here to pour the water out. Is antifreeze minty? I think I may have been poisoned.
    May 26 at 10:19pm ·  ·  2 people

  • Daniel im just glad i stopped you, it was suck a stupid idea
    May 26 at 10:20pm · 

  • Daniel  such*
    May 26 at 10:20pm · 

  • Travis  That is the longest thread of all time......
    May 26 at 10:24pm · 

  • Valerie  Now that I've broken records, I'm going to bed.
    May 26 at 10:25pm ·  ·  1 person

  • Daniel  i hope you wake up in the morning
    May 26 at 10:25pm · 

  • Valerie  Me too. It's Friday! Next time, poison me on a Sunday.Ii always have the worst Mondays...
    May 26 at 10:26pm · 

  • Daniel  will do
    May 26 at 10:27pm · 

  • Valerie  And it was only a sip.
    May 26 at 10:28pm · 

  • Daniel  
    May 26 at 10:29pm · 

  • Valerie  crap.
    May 26 at 10:29pm · 

  • Daniel  yes, probably in about 16minutes if the computer calculations are correct
    May 26 at 10:30pm · 

  • Valerie  huh?
    May 26 at 10:31pm · 

  • Daniel  
    May 26 at 10:32pm · 

  • Valerie  Are you fucking serious?
    May 26 at 10:32pm · 

  • Daniel  you will never know
    May 26 at 10:32pm · 

  • Valerie  My lips are still numb, you know.
    May 26 at 10:33pm · 

  • Daniel  look at my profile
    May 26 at 10:33pm · 

  • Valerie  I wouldn't put it past you to poison me, but all the same, I;m glad you didn't. However, my lips really are still numb and that water tasted minty, so I think I'll be preparing my own food and drink from now on.
    May 26 at 10:34pm · 

  • Daniel  it was just a little bit of mint extract. i put it in the brim so even if you poured it out and refilled it, it would still be minty lol
    May 26 at 10:36pm · 

  • Valerie LOL. Ok, that's pretty damn good. I didn't realize that much pure mint would temporarily paralyze someone!
    May 26 at 10:37pm · 

  • Daniel haha neither did i. i just opened the pantry looking for food dye but then i saw the extract
    May 26 at 10:38pm ·  ·  1 person

  • Daniel and btw i tried it on my self first, my lips are still numb too and everytime i breathe in it get all cold
    May 26 at 10:38pm · 


BTW the full length of this thread was 112 posts long. And yes, it is sad and pathetic that I was upstairs, my husband one room over in the office and Daniel downstairs.

Thus far, the pranks have been harmless, albeit annoying. But I ask you: When has a prank gone too far?

Several weeks ago, my brother and husband went out to the middle of the desert at night to drive around my brother's redneck truck and shoot guns. The next day they bring me lunch at work and tell me all about their adventure, including a tall tale of being surprised by a cougar who wandered up to them. I'm not buying what their selling. I implore them to prove it. Then my husband tells me he was able to snap a picture of my brother scaring the mountain lion off with a shovel and homemade torch (they were playing "Lost"-Desert Style, don't ask). When I asked why only one photo was taken, he said the flash drew the curious cat's attention and they didn't want to push their luck, so he put down the camera and grabbed the gun. I still didn't believe them until I saw the photo myself and my brother put it up as his FB profile pic.


The picture heard 'round the world:


If a photo is worth a thousand words, this one said it all. It solidified their story and made them heroes. I told my friends, family and co-workers about it.

Now, 3 weeks later, I was notified it was a hoax. The image above was "Photo-shopped." I am more than a little peeved. Not that I had been fooled and played into it, but for the sheer fact that they lied to me for so long. They let me believe their story and use my reputation to share the harrowing tale with others. Moreover, I only discovered the truth through my grandpa. Daniel's picture on FB sparked interest from other family members, so the photo was emailed to poor, unsuspecting grandparents who then blasted all their friends and family. I don't know how the truth came to light, but needless to say, the G'rents are not happy.

So when does a prank become something more? I hold that this prank may have started funny, but ended cruelly when it lasted longer than showing the initial picture. How long can you let a prank like this go before it just turns into a massive lie?

Pranking someone leaves a trusting person feeling like a fool for the amusement of others. It's a lot easier to forgive when only a few people are aware you have been duped. The longer it goes on and the more witnesses adds to the humiliations and that's when the prank turns cruel. At what point would you have told the truth? If my grandpa didn't discover the truth, I may have never known.

Who should be more ashamed? The prankster or the pranked?