I really hate Cox Communications right now! My cable was freezing off and on last night, but if I changed the channel, it would unfreeze and be fine for the next half hour. I assumed it was just the channel I was watching. Then, tonight, 10 minutes before the Project Runway season finale, it starts freezing again. And doesn't unfreeze for 2 whole minutes. Even after I try chaning the channel. The picture finally comes back up but then proceeds to freeze every 30 seconds. Suddenly, the box re-boots itself. It takes 4 minutes for it to completely cycle and when it comes back on the 2 shows I am recording have stopped recording and it won't let me change from the default OnDemand channel.
That's it! I have had enough! I call in to tech support. I go through their automated trouble-shooting system (which consists of "did you turn it off then back on?") before a person finally takes my call. Now I'm more than 15 minutes into Project Runway and haven't been able to watch a single second of the show. RGH! The agent was way too peppy for my liking so her empathy statements just didn't ring true. She has the gall to ask how my night is going, so I ever so politely mention the lack of cable programming. To which she responds "oh yeah, well, besides that, has it been a good night?" WTF? Then when I jokingly ask her to hurry so I don't miss any more of my Project Runway Season Finale, she gasps, exclaims "OMG, I forgot that was on tonight! Well, I'm missing it too, to help you." Again, I state WTF? She proceeds to power cycle my cable box 3 more times which, ironically enough, make matters worse causing it to freeze, lock onto one channel, and phantom record the Weather Channel. She gives up stating my box is broken and I will have to exchange it the following day.
I get off the phone frsutrated and wondering what I should do with the rest of my evening when, miaculously, my box self-heals. It turns off on its own. It power cycles, on its own. I turn it on, and it already on channel 726-Lifetime HD showing Project Runway. I am more than 45 minutes into the show, but I watch the rest of the 2 hour season finale without it freezing a single time. I like to believe this is a miracle of some sorts. Or maybe karma for such a crappy week. Of course, I kind of hoped my karmic payback was a little bigger-say, in the form of that $172 million PowerBall lottery ticket I picked up last week in Phoenix using my father's birthday and date of death. That would have been sweet! But I will just have to settle for working cable.
SEXY BOOKWORM BLOGGER
Friday, October 29, 2010
Monday, October 25, 2010
"Your Dad's Dead"
What's in a word? A word is just a semi-arbitrary collective of any number of 26 symbolic options of sounds. The sounds are then assigned meaning and passed on to each generation. Languages cycle, they grow. They become archaic.
Three words changed the course of my life. nothing significant until placed in the same sentence. Words comprised of no more than 4 letters of the English alphabet. "Your dad's dead."
To hear those words spoken through the phone from a relative also trying to cope is disheartening. To have to repeat those same words, not once but twice, is gut-wrenching. Especially when you are a state away relaying a life-changing message to your younger siblings through telephone instead of holding each one in person offering physical condolences.
Your direct paternal biological contributor has ceased to exist in this current metaphysical plane.
More words. bigger. With substance. means the same thing but offers dilution. Time to translate. Absorb. Reflect. Doesn't change the outcome of repeating. My dad is still dead.
Three words changed the course of my life. nothing significant until placed in the same sentence. Words comprised of no more than 4 letters of the English alphabet. "Your dad's dead."
To hear those words spoken through the phone from a relative also trying to cope is disheartening. To have to repeat those same words, not once but twice, is gut-wrenching. Especially when you are a state away relaying a life-changing message to your younger siblings through telephone instead of holding each one in person offering physical condolences.
Your direct paternal biological contributor has ceased to exist in this current metaphysical plane.
More words. bigger. With substance. means the same thing but offers dilution. Time to translate. Absorb. Reflect. Doesn't change the outcome of repeating. My dad is still dead.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
The Name of The Game is Shame
That's right, ladies and gentlemen, I am taking my weight loss ambitions public in a pathetic attempt to shame myself into pursuing my goals. While thoroughly motivated every time I glimpse my flabby belly and chunky butt in the mirror, I lose all will when presented with a choice between ice cream and anything remotely healthy. Cheeseburgers win my affections over Smart Choice frozen dinners and I can't seem to cut my ties with Coca-Cola. Damn you, delicious caffeinated beverage!
Alas, my personal humiliation each time my personal trainer confronts me with my .5 lb weight loss (which, incidentally took me 2 weeks to accomplish) is insufficient. That is why I have started a contest with 3 of the 4 most important men in my life for various prizes and, more importantly, bragging rights. Because there's nothing more fun than winning and then holding that over someone else's head! Collin, Dylan, and Bryce have underestimated my determination and it will be the end of them. Mwah-ha-ha-ha!!!
Okay, reeling in the psychotic a little bit, I will explain the terms and conditions. The first deal started with Collin, my best friend, for us to both get in shape. He has helped me tremendously to put together a meal plan that I can actually stick with. Since Collin used to be my gym buddy back in the PHO, it made sense we would continue our weight-loss partnership. As a friendly wager, we bet that whoever lost the most BMI % by the January 1st would be declared winner. Prize TBD, but it will most likely include dinner and a movie of some sort courtesy of the loser.
However, Collin lives a state away, so I needed someone local to ensure I stick to my meal plan and weight loss goals. That's when I turned to my husband, Bryce. Bryce, though I lvoe him dearly, has put on a few post-wedding LB's as well, so I figured we could enter in a similar motivational agreement. Hence, it was decided that the person to lose the most weight by December 1st would be declared the winner. Again, prize TBD. Although, the prize in this instance doesn't matter as much because my $ is his $ and vice versa. And the real prize will be my husband looking smoking hot!!
This brings us to my final weight loss challenger, Dylan. My "work husband." I mentioned I was going to the gym and he said he was on his way there today, too. Then he presented a little bet that he could reach his weight loss goal faster than me. Since I don't take no shit from no one, I'z gots to show hisself up, yo! (That's my smack talk-needs a little work). We both want to lose about 20 pounds, so the first to hit their goal is declared winner. Since I reside in Vegas and Dylan was relocated to SoCal, we decided the most appropriate prize is dinner in Phoenix (as we both have ties there, we can meet halfway).
The 4th man in my life (though 1st in ranking) would be my brother, Daniel. There is no way in H-E-Double hockey sticks I am betting with him because he trained to be a Marine, is fit as a fiddle, and his job requires him to run around in inclement weather for 9 hour shifts. If I lived in the same state, I would hire him to coach me.
So, there we have it. My bid to the masses to shame me into a fit lifestyle has begun.
Alas, my personal humiliation each time my personal trainer confronts me with my .5 lb weight loss (which, incidentally took me 2 weeks to accomplish) is insufficient. That is why I have started a contest with 3 of the 4 most important men in my life for various prizes and, more importantly, bragging rights. Because there's nothing more fun than winning and then holding that over someone else's head! Collin, Dylan, and Bryce have underestimated my determination and it will be the end of them. Mwah-ha-ha-ha!!!
Okay, reeling in the psychotic a little bit, I will explain the terms and conditions. The first deal started with Collin, my best friend, for us to both get in shape. He has helped me tremendously to put together a meal plan that I can actually stick with. Since Collin used to be my gym buddy back in the PHO, it made sense we would continue our weight-loss partnership. As a friendly wager, we bet that whoever lost the most BMI % by the January 1st would be declared winner. Prize TBD, but it will most likely include dinner and a movie of some sort courtesy of the loser.
However, Collin lives a state away, so I needed someone local to ensure I stick to my meal plan and weight loss goals. That's when I turned to my husband, Bryce. Bryce, though I lvoe him dearly, has put on a few post-wedding LB's as well, so I figured we could enter in a similar motivational agreement. Hence, it was decided that the person to lose the most weight by December 1st would be declared the winner. Again, prize TBD. Although, the prize in this instance doesn't matter as much because my $ is his $ and vice versa. And the real prize will be my husband looking smoking hot!!
This brings us to my final weight loss challenger, Dylan. My "work husband." I mentioned I was going to the gym and he said he was on his way there today, too. Then he presented a little bet that he could reach his weight loss goal faster than me. Since I don't take no shit from no one, I'z gots to show hisself up, yo! (That's my smack talk-needs a little work). We both want to lose about 20 pounds, so the first to hit their goal is declared winner. Since I reside in Vegas and Dylan was relocated to SoCal, we decided the most appropriate prize is dinner in Phoenix (as we both have ties there, we can meet halfway).
The 4th man in my life (though 1st in ranking) would be my brother, Daniel. There is no way in H-E-Double hockey sticks I am betting with him because he trained to be a Marine, is fit as a fiddle, and his job requires him to run around in inclement weather for 9 hour shifts. If I lived in the same state, I would hire him to coach me.
So, there we have it. My bid to the masses to shame me into a fit lifestyle has begun.
Monday, October 18, 2010
Hating the Haters
Cliche as it may be, my husband makes me a better person. I'll say it-I was a bitch in high school. I was mean, spiteful, vindictive. I used people and manipulated them to suit my needs. But that was more than 6 years ago and I am NOT that same person. I hate the people that think I am and I hate that they fill me with such hate. It is frustrating trying to prove yourself when your biggest fault was being young and all that entails. Stupid. Selfish. Naive. Judgmental.
Well, I'm still a little judgmental-it's kind of hard not to be. Stereotypes exist for a reason and you only get one first impression. And the selfish part is kinda still true. More self-indulgent, I should say. I just prefer not to rely on anyone bu myself, so if I want something, I get it. I digress. These many years away from the social pressures of high school have softened me. All bite lost-only feeble bark remains. My sharp tongue and sarcastic wit gone.
I should be thankful for my husband's hard work taming me, but mostly, I miss the old me. The old me didn't care what the fuck you thought because, honestly, who the hell are you? You're no ME and I'll tell you straight to your face what I think of you and only my opinion matters.
Does a happy medium exist? I'd like to find that. A place in between the old me and the new me. The old me handled anything without so much as a blink. The new me has her shit together. The old me was terrified, but persevered. The new me is comfortable and stale.
I love my husband and was so excited to take his name. I still wouldn't change anything. But...
But sometimes...
I have an identity crisis. I feel fake. Phony. All my achievements are under an obsolete name. A forgotten name. A name that no longer matters and never gets repeated. What has my new persona accomplished? I'm a Mrs. I'm half of a whole. I'm part of something bigger. I love that and it scares me. I hate it and that scares me more. Comfort constantly spars with freedom. I am one of the only girls in my industry and one of the youngest. I run a $4.2 million business. I work out 4 times per week. I read. I write. I matter.
I. i. i.....I....i.i.i.....
Who the fuck am I? What's in a name?
Everything.
Shitfuck.
Well, I'm still a little judgmental-it's kind of hard not to be. Stereotypes exist for a reason and you only get one first impression. And the selfish part is kinda still true. More self-indulgent, I should say. I just prefer not to rely on anyone bu myself, so if I want something, I get it. I digress. These many years away from the social pressures of high school have softened me. All bite lost-only feeble bark remains. My sharp tongue and sarcastic wit gone.
I should be thankful for my husband's hard work taming me, but mostly, I miss the old me. The old me didn't care what the fuck you thought because, honestly, who the hell are you? You're no ME and I'll tell you straight to your face what I think of you and only my opinion matters.
Does a happy medium exist? I'd like to find that. A place in between the old me and the new me. The old me handled anything without so much as a blink. The new me has her shit together. The old me was terrified, but persevered. The new me is comfortable and stale.
I love my husband and was so excited to take his name. I still wouldn't change anything. But...
But sometimes...
I have an identity crisis. I feel fake. Phony. All my achievements are under an obsolete name. A forgotten name. A name that no longer matters and never gets repeated. What has my new persona accomplished? I'm a Mrs. I'm half of a whole. I'm part of something bigger. I love that and it scares me. I hate it and that scares me more. Comfort constantly spars with freedom. I am one of the only girls in my industry and one of the youngest. I run a $4.2 million business. I work out 4 times per week. I read. I write. I matter.
I. i. i.....I....i.i.i.....
Who the fuck am I? What's in a name?
Everything.
Shitfuck.
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Penitence by Jennifer Laurens
While Heavenly had a an edge to it's writing, the overall feeling was peaceful, which made each trauma easier to manage. Penitence flips around and gives a grittier version as the same troubles plaguing the Dodd family worsens. The focus moves from Abria's autism as the major source of discontent to Zoe's bigger battle for her soul and her consuming love for Matthias-who she can't have. Again, the story unfolds naturally leaving no doubt that each scenario-from the absurd to the divine-is true. Total honesty shines a light on even the worst character flaws, but the reader remains enraptured, easily forgiving as they realize their own inner beasts.
Penitence offers a deeper connection to the world of Pleasant Grove setting the town's population in a Good v Evil battle. This epic war, waged in each little decision, never falters in its entertainment value despite any raucous fighting. The story weaves with more complexity in this second installment as the predicaments Zoe faces become, like life itself, unpredictable. I remained fascinated and anxious throughout and regret not knowing a 3rd installment, Absolution, was released a mere 9 days ago so I could readily jump back in to reading Zoe's conclusion.
Heavenly by Jennifer Laurens
It took me about 6 hours to finish this book after work yesterday. I literally could not put it down to shower, eat, or go to bed at a reasonable time. Jennifer Laurens writes a beautiful story about a teenage girl struggling to be strong in a family overshadowed by her little sister, Abria's, autism. The disease takes a noticeable toll on each family member in a different way-Zoe turning to meaningless sex and alcohol to help cope and her brother, Luke finding solace in drugs. But then Zoe meets Abria's guardian angel and they fall deeply in all-consuming, pure, love.
What makes this story so breathtaking is how real the characters come across to the reader. Each mortally flawed. Jennifer Laurens manages to create plausible dilemmas and her characters deal with these life-altering situations much as we have seen friends and family, or even ourselves, have. Even with the fantasy aspect of a guardian angel love interest-the story lacks any sort of cheesiness that forces the reader to suspend belief to accept the tale. Instead, it is written in a way where acceptance of the impossible slips in, unnoticed, and just is.
The story is an enticing enigma of opposites. While the big picture is easily discernible, the minor twists and turns keep it interesting. A guardian angel guides the Dodd family, but nothing wraps up neatly at the end-the family still struggles with the same anger, addictions, and frustrations they began with. With all it's complexities, Heavenly leaves the reader feeling comforted by the simplicity of pure love and forgiveness. Tragedy abounds but it doesn't feel over dramatic. Jennifer Laurens writes a fine balance presenting a moral story-without crossing into preachy. A difficult feat considering a main player in the novel can list heavenly being on his resume.
After finishing the novel, I felt overwhelmed by the love story between Zoe and Matthias. There was nothing raunchy, but it hardly felt chaste. It simply felt real and right. Zoe makes a great heroine as she realistically learns from her mistakes only to stumble across new ones. While the book has its share of miracles, there is no miraculous change in its characters-just subtle differences that let you know they are on the right path. I finished the novel feeling grateful for what I have, thankful that my problems are not as bad as they could be, and hopeful that I can overcome my own obstacles.
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
...And You Can Totally Wear it Again!
Walking the strip Sunday with Bryce and a few friends, I noticed wedding party after wedding party. You had beautiful brides, outrageous brides, ugly bridesmaids, weird dresses. Some carried flowers, some held trailing photographers, some drank and dawdled while others walked with a purpose. And no one blinked twice. Now, it could be that Saturday was my anniversary, or the half cup of Dos Equis setting in (I'm a lightweight), but I started to get sentimental. I realized I could totally walk around the strip WHENEVER I wanted wearing my wedding dress and it wouldn't seem weird. No one had to know that I got married over 2 years ago and I am just insanely obsessed with looking-at what I feel-was my most beautiful. I could proudly wear my fingertip veil and strut my stuff in peace.
Then an even better idea wound its way through me. I decided a bride is not complete without bridesmaids and I should host the 1st Annual "You Can Totally Wear It Again" Strip walk. Every bridesmaid in their hideous, over-tulled, ruffled, bowed, expensive, I-can-never-wear-this-again dresses can get another wear out of their dresses! Think 27 Dresses on the Strip.
What better way to get your money's worth than a drunken non-reception in Las Vegas? A tribute to all the ugly bridesmaid dresses the bride assured you could be altered to be a cute cocktail dress, evening gown, or vacation piece. Those unlucky friends and family that suffered the humiliating, itchy pieces for the sake of their dear bride on her special day. Now, you can don that bad memory with the rest of your fellow bridemaids and drink until you forget every last picture you had to force a smile for in the fabulous Sin City setting.
If I actually thought I could gather enough people to participate in the liberating party, I may even hire a photographer to follow us around. Let me know if you would be interested in something like this!
I will even invite my own bridesmaids, unnecessarily, because I kept my promise of selecting cocktail dresses they could totally wear again! ; )
If I actually thought I could gather enough people to participate in the liberating party, I may even hire a photographer to follow us around. Let me know if you would be interested in something like this!
I will even invite my own bridesmaids, unnecessarily, because I kept my promise of selecting cocktail dresses they could totally wear again! ; )
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Happy Anniversary!!
Ok, so in typical female fashion-I changed my mind. Cleaning the apartment just wasn't up to snuff for our 2 year anniversary. And I have my whole life ahead of me to earn money, so why not spend it now? (these theories are great in, well, theory). Last minute, I planned our day to include a couples massage, a nice sushi dinner, see a movie, followed by drinks and then hit up a club. Here's how the day really went:
MASSAGE
Booked an appointment for a Swedish massage for me and Bryce. A swedish massage is supposed to be nice and relaxing, light to medium pressure that soothes the muscles and invigorates the mind. That's exactly what Bryce got. I wound up with Maria. A New Age massage therapist who insisted we start off by going to the bathroom together and, BTW, conversed while in stalls, a big NO NO. After massaging me for a couple minutes, she decided my muscles are too tense and breaks out every home remedy massage tool Bed, Bath and Beyond has to offer! At one point Maria even emitted tiny micro-bursts of electro shocks to my ass in order to "asisst in better posture." I seriously can't make this stuff up. My favorite part was when I drifted to her soothing massage only to be awakend by her banging a tuning fork against the side of the table so she could vibrate her crystal which she then used for "non-invassive acupuncture therapy." No, I change my mind. My absolute, all-time, most favoritest part was when Maria felt my knees were uneven so she began to stretch my legs across my body and rotate my hips. keep in mind, I am nothing but a thong here. Nude stretching is NOT what I signed up for!
DINNER
MASSAGE
DINNER
We followed up our massage with a nice dinner at Kabuki. Not much to say here-the food was fantastic. They always make the best Califronia rolls and the yakitori is d-lish. After eating, we had a couple hours to kill before the movie started so we walked around Town Square-the trendy, outdoor community strip mall where Kabuki and the movie theatre is located. Bryce got some frozen yogurt, I stopped by the candy shop. It was a sweet date.
MOVIE
Bored with walking around, Bryce and I purchased movie tickets for Life As We Know It and grabbed seats 40 minutes before the movie started. We got primo seats and just relaxed and talked. About 30 minutes later, Bryce was wondering why the movie hadn't started yeet. I double-checked the time on our movie stubs and realized we bought tickets for the wrong movie. We wanted to see Its Kind Of a Funny Story. The irony is not lost on me. We found the right theatre, missed only half the previews but were forced to sit in the handicap seats in front of the railing. So much for our plan of arriving half hour early and snagging primo spots. Whatev. movie was good, but mroe on that later.
DRINKS
So, Blue Martini has this sweet deal that if you show your ticket stub from RAVE, you get a free martini. And I'm talking large, $14, leave-the-shaker martini! Bryce and I mosie over to Blue Martini after the movie lets out where we are promptly bounced. We didn't plan our attire to match the club's strict shoe policy. Flip-flops and sneaks, while practical during the day, gets you denied entrance from the swanky club giving free drinks to theater patrons. Super bummed that me, of all people, on the one day I am not wearing the cutest strappy stilettos was denied entrance to a club that would have drooled over anything else in my closet. The world is a cruel, unjust place.
There ends our glorious 2-year anniversary. The massage was weird, we flubbed the movie, and we were denied free drinks, but all-in-all it was a great day spent with my hubby.
Saturday, October 9, 2010
Today, of All Days...
It's Saturday. Finally the weekend has come. But what do I have to look forward to? Cleaning the house on my anniversary. Our 2-year anniversary. 2 kind of glorious years, mostly. What to do to celebrate? Can't have a nice dinner because I am dieting. We can't see a movie/go bowling/anything on the Strip because we are saving money until we close on the house. What else is there? Clean the house.
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Fulfilled
Who am I? What do I want? I know I want to be happy, but I have no clue how to achieve happiness. Several people I know are pregnant, So i wanted to be pregnant. Then I remembered I hate kids and would rather buy sexy new stilettos than formula and diapers. Another friend applied to law school, so i started to think Hey, I could be a lawyer. But I never even took my GMAT's. An old friend from high school is doing Teach For America in China. That sounds like an adventure I want to be on-then I remember he's dirt poor living with 2 roommates and rides a bike everywhere. But he's happy.
The person staring back at me in the mirror disgusts me. I'm fat-so I joined a gym and hired a personal trainer. My teeth are crooked-so I wear my retainer nightly. My teeth aren't white-so I whiten them. Ihate my hair-so I book an appointment at the salon. I wax my eyebrows and I color my hair and I whiten my teeth and I get contacts and I wash my face and use the best make-up but nothing makes a bit of difference because I'm still me. And I'm not happy.
I have no clue what I want, but I know it's nothing I have. I'm jealous of every single person around me. I thought admitting you have a problem is the first step, but knowing I'm selfish, materialistic and green with envy has not helped me find bliss.
My personal trainer forced me next to the wall of mirrors-the wall of shame. He screamed at me to look straight ahead-I had only ever looked at my feet. "Bad form" he said. "Keep your posture-look straight ahead. Work it like everyone is watching you. They want to be you-you are the center of attention."
I looked straight ahead. I saw me in the mirror. I cringed, but I pushed through. I didn't find happiness, but I gained a bit of confidence. Self-aware I may be, but self-asured, I am not. But maybe he was on to something. I should stop living my life wanting what others have-but live my life taking what I want. In fact, I'm not really living right now-simply passing the time in miserable contemplation. From here on out, I'm going to live my life like a reality tv show. As if everyone was watching-jealous of what I get to do and who I get to be. No boundaries, no restrictions, no fear.
...Maybe.
The person staring back at me in the mirror disgusts me. I'm fat-so I joined a gym and hired a personal trainer. My teeth are crooked-so I wear my retainer nightly. My teeth aren't white-so I whiten them. Ihate my hair-so I book an appointment at the salon. I wax my eyebrows and I color my hair and I whiten my teeth and I get contacts and I wash my face and use the best make-up but nothing makes a bit of difference because I'm still me. And I'm not happy.
I have no clue what I want, but I know it's nothing I have. I'm jealous of every single person around me. I thought admitting you have a problem is the first step, but knowing I'm selfish, materialistic and green with envy has not helped me find bliss.
My personal trainer forced me next to the wall of mirrors-the wall of shame. He screamed at me to look straight ahead-I had only ever looked at my feet. "Bad form" he said. "Keep your posture-look straight ahead. Work it like everyone is watching you. They want to be you-you are the center of attention."
I looked straight ahead. I saw me in the mirror. I cringed, but I pushed through. I didn't find happiness, but I gained a bit of confidence. Self-aware I may be, but self-asured, I am not. But maybe he was on to something. I should stop living my life wanting what others have-but live my life taking what I want. In fact, I'm not really living right now-simply passing the time in miserable contemplation. From here on out, I'm going to live my life like a reality tv show. As if everyone was watching-jealous of what I get to do and who I get to be. No boundaries, no restrictions, no fear.
...Maybe.
When In Rome
Just watched When in Rome with Kristen Bell and Josh Duhamel.
I stayed home from work to run errands and clean the house, but while searching for something to watch during lunch, I decided upon this movie. It's a cheesy rom-com I wouldn't pay money to see in the theater, but now that it's free from Starz On Demand, Why not? I thought. It started off cheesy, but cute. It progressed to annoyingly predictable. There were way too many "poignant" moments set to bad music, I stopped counting. The one redeeming factor is if alcohol was involved, I could turn this into a decent drinking game-such as drink every time you want to groan at an over-the-top, over used, lame cliche. I suffered through the last 30 minutes because, let's face it, I'm a trooper and I had already come this far. When this painful excuse for entertainment finally ended my only thought was....Damn! I wish I just spent the last 2 hours of my life filing papers, doing laundry, and taking out the trash.
I stayed home from work to run errands and clean the house, but while searching for something to watch during lunch, I decided upon this movie. It's a cheesy rom-com I wouldn't pay money to see in the theater, but now that it's free from Starz On Demand, Why not? I thought. It started off cheesy, but cute. It progressed to annoyingly predictable. There were way too many "poignant" moments set to bad music, I stopped counting. The one redeeming factor is if alcohol was involved, I could turn this into a decent drinking game-such as drink every time you want to groan at an over-the-top, over used, lame cliche. I suffered through the last 30 minutes because, let's face it, I'm a trooper and I had already come this far. When this painful excuse for entertainment finally ended my only thought was....Damn! I wish I just spent the last 2 hours of my life filing papers, doing laundry, and taking out the trash.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Disneyland Sept. 2010
Just got back from Dinseyland a little over a week ago. I went with my mom and sister and had a blast. But you know what would make Disneyland more enjoyable? Less kids. A LOT less kids. Those whiny, sniveling, screaming, smelly brats that can't even comprehend why their there. I think parents are insane for buying such expensive tickets for these youngsters who get impatient standing in line, shouldn't be eating such unhealthy park food, and miss nap time just to fall asleep before the fireworks in front of Sleeping Beauty's Castle. And for the love of all that is sacred, STOP ramming your stroller into my ankle!!!
There really should be a Disneyland-for adults only. Most would argue it's called Las Vegas-Sin City-The Strip. I live here and disagree. Las Vegas is nothing like Disneyland! Sure it's flashy and you see all sorts of outrageous characters dressed up while you walk down the main street. And you pass themed hotels. And you spend a lot of money on bad food and wishful thinking. I guess, whoever first likened the two may have had a point.
I digress....
PICTURE TIME
Day 1-AM
There really should be a Disneyland-for adults only. Most would argue it's called Las Vegas-Sin City-The Strip. I live here and disagree. Las Vegas is nothing like Disneyland! Sure it's flashy and you see all sorts of outrageous characters dressed up while you walk down the main street. And you pass themed hotels. And you spend a lot of money on bad food and wishful thinking. I guess, whoever first likened the two may have had a point.
I digress....
PICTURE TIME
Day 1-AM
Me, my mom and sister enter the park and start with a fool-proof gameplan on how we will route our adventures and make the most of the FastPass.
Mr. Toad's Wild Ride- The most messed up Tale in all of Disneyland.
Teacup with my Sis.
Soaking wet after I'm forced to claim the front seat at Splash Mountain.
Halloween -Time at Disneyland had the Haunted Mansion at it's best. All decked out as Nightmare Before Christmas. Definitely my favorite!
What's Disneyland without some mouse ears?
Day 1-PM
After some rest and a quick outfit change (actually, my third for the day), we were at it again!
Main Street, USA glowing in the evening.
Sleeping Beauty's castle.
Fireworks? check. Water Display? check. Wiped out and ready for bed? You betcha!
Day 2-AM
After a second night sleeping in the car (and yes, we had a hotel room-don't ask), we were semi-refreshed and once again visited the Happiest Place on Earth. On to Phase II of our glorious plan to master the park.
Tomorrowland!
Tribute to Mickey-J at Captain E.O's.
To Infinity, and Beyond!
By lunchtime-the heat started to rise and the lines were longer than the previous day.
Space Mountain. My mom's just trying to keep her glasses on, but I'm screaming with my sister in the back.
Autopia! Perhaps this is more fun as a kid when you have yet to discover the joys of driving a real car and the woes of speeding tickets to come.
A few quick pics of Toontown before we bolted as heat exhasution set in. Seriously, I almost died.
Waiting on the sidewalk for the Parade, we were entertained by the cutest jazz band.
Celebrate! Parade.
No consistency at Disneyland. Leave it to my sister's editorial eye to catch this.
Day 2-PM
Break for lunch away from the park and change back to comfy clothes from the night before.
In line at Alice in Wonderland. Can you tell how hot it is by my sweating to death?
Finally! Our adventure has come to an end. my mom fell asleep on the shuttle ride back to the hotel. The, literally, 5 minute shuttle ride.
Day 3-AM
Tired. Worn out. Exhausted. I begin my 4 hour trek home-sans the 6 inch stilettos I donned on the drive down. Til next time, Anaheim!
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