Rampant by Diana Peterfreund

After 5 pages I grew rather tiresome of the obviously thesaurus-riddled text. I saw every AP English vocab word pop up in paragraphs of otherwise dull sentences. The overall vernacular lacked the sophistication to warrant the strange use of these higher-level words. With that said...

I get it!!! This is a story about unicorns! Here is the novel in a nutshell: 

Astrid reads a bedtime story about unicorns to girls she's babysitting in their unicorn decorated room. Blah blah blah. She reflects on her crazy mom, obsessed with their unicorn hunting legacy. Blah blah. Astrid invites her BF over for some innocent nookie only to be interrupted by a brutal unicorn attack. Blah. Her mom saves her and BF from aforementioned attack with the last drops of an ancient Remedy. You know, from her ancestors unicorn-hunting days. Astrid's mother sends her to a special school in Rome that trains virgins to hunt and kill unicorns. Not just any virgins, but female descendants of Alexander the Great (don't ask, it's a convoluted mess that still makes no sense to me). Then the REAL unicorn talk starts. There is the briefest reprieve on page 178 when Astrid goes on a date with Giovanni. but then that ends in another unicorn attack.

I thought the story was a unique spin on the mystical puritanical unicorn. In Miss Peterfreund's version, the unicorns are vicious man-eaters. but some factions have reached an understanding and can communicate with the hunters. They were thought to be extinct, but **SPOILER ALERT** Astrid discovers her ancestor just came to a compromise where the unicorns go into hiding and the hunters leave them be.

Overall, this was a difficult read. not interesting enough to motivate me to read, but not boring enough to stop. The story-line was a jumbled mess of original-take-on-myth and I-don't-really-care-it-just-sucks. The ending has a scrap of potential for a sequel. I refuse to read any more and am glad I checked this book out from the library instead of wasting any of my money on the hardback.

Bumped by Megan McCafferty

So deliciously controversial! In 2036 a virus has mass spread preventing everyone over 18 from conceiving. Faced with extinction, teens are prized as the new breeders. You have amateurs (who get "bumped" by their boyfriends) and professionals (who are paid top $$ for their select genetic contribution).

Cleverly written, McCafferty embraces the bump-crazed culture with her perfectly penned vernacular uniquely reminiscent of Amy Heckerling's "Clueless." 'Sex' is rarely mentioned directly-vaguely referred to as "bumping" or the act of creating a baby bump. 'Pregnant' is consistently shortened to 'preg' and the babies have nicknames. By staying away from modern society's taboo phrases and words, Bumped allows the reader to somewhat disassociate with the serious subject matter and revel in the satirical undertones.

Bumped follows the separate-at-birth and recently-reunited identical twins Melody and Harmony. melody was raised by economy professors who predicted the pay-for-preg craze and adopted and raised Melody for maximum ROI. although she's under a 6 figure contract and waiting to repro (her agent is trying to pair her with the perfect genetic match for an optimal bump), this "virge on the verge" (virgin on the verge of obsolescence) is having doubts. Doubts caused by the sudden appearance of her preachy twin Harmony who was raised by the 2036 version of the Amish. Living segregated from society and refuting all technology including the MiNet (and you thought FB was time-consuming!) the "Goodsiders" have arranged marriages at 13 and the girls are groomed to become faithful wives dedicated wives, and submit to domesticity for the benefit of the community. Harmony is on a Mission to save her sister-or is she? Harmony's Bible-thump to Melody's baby-bump attitude adds comical insight to both society's extremes. Seriously, McCafferty manages to perfectly balance an epic bitch-slap to religion while preaching morality and purity. You gotta read it to believe it.

McCafferty's sinfully decadent novel doesn't become overly thought provoking until the last 20-or-so pages. The unprecedented predicament sets up for a sequel promising to be far more complicated and grown-up than the curious debut. With the sequel, Melody and Harmony will have tough choices to make and I anticipate the consequences will be brought to light. Issues of postpartum depression, sacrificing virginity and birthing complications are merely touched upon in Bumped.

In an America obsessed with teen pregnancies ("16 and Pregnant", "Teen Mom") the situation is sensationalized by the ignorant and perpetuated by the weak and self-indulgent. Impressionable young minds, raised by MTV replacing decent parenting and tabloids creating reality stars, idolize the mistakes made when you don't close your legs, rubber up, or pill/prick/patch yourself. McCafferty's exuberant extremes satirize a culture that's becoming all-too-familiar. The fact there's no virus threatening mass extinction makes the real-world parallel that much more sad and pathetic. Whether McCafferty's intention or not, I hope Bumped can show impressionable teens just how important it is to think for yourself when faced with overwhelming pressure to conform.