The Big Bang-Rock Mafia

Heard this song on the radio and absolutely became addicted to it. Naturally, I looked up the music video on YouTube. I wasn't gonna hold my breath for MTV to premiere. Does anyone even watch MTV anymore? Besides me mom, that is. She's completely addicted to Jersey Shore and Teen Mom.

So watching the video I had a few thoughts I figured I would share with you:

1. Why feature Miley Cyrus? She doesn't even sing in the song. Doesn't she have her own trashy music videos to star in, or are we supposed to believe she's an actress now? 5 seasons of Hannah Montana and a starring role in The Last Song (see review HERE) are not beaming credentials, if you ask me.

2. Does Kevin Zegers strike anyone else as a less attractive Zac Efron?

Throw in some amazing baby blues with that jaw line and we can talk. As it is right now, I'm still reeling back to Air Bud.

Did anybody else watch that movie? They made like, a billion sequels. Talking animals really annoy me--I hated Babe.

3. I really don't understand this video. Is it actually Miley Cyrus? She's whispering Kevin's name at the beginning leading me to believe that he is portraying himself. Did they date? Was she really in an accident. someone please explain this to me. Clearly it is a song about sex, but what is with the car accident. Seriously, I'm lost here. Whatever.

4. Did you catch the thigh high boots Miss Miley is rocking?

My mom's rule of thumb: below the knee is acceptably edgy. Above the knee is embarrassingly trashy. I have a killer pair of black, velvet, knee high boots with 5 inch heels that my mom picked out for me. Every time I wear them, I attract unwanted attention. One time, I had a big, burly, black biker stalk me for 20 minutes in a Borders bookstore while I was shopping with my mom. True Story.

I can only imagine the trouble Hannah Montana gets herself into with thigh high leather boots and a mini. Oh yeah:

5. What's with the neck tat? Is that a real tattoo or just for the video? Again, I don't get it. Makes no sense in the video and is just plain tacky if it is real. Just saying.

I guess that's all I have to say on that subject. feel free to leave your own comments and critiques of the video, song, or any other inane somewhat-related subject.

The Last Song

So I'll admit it. I am a closet Hannah Montana fan. Miley Cyrus is so bubbly and funny as Hannah Montana and the pop songs are annoyingly catchy. It's good, clean, Disney fun! Why I ever thought she could be a serious actress in a drama role is beyond me. Her acting was monotone, boring, unexciting and all the synonyms in between. Speaking of bad acting-Liam Hemsworth did nothing for me. Sure he's attractive in the "boy next door" kind of way, but his character fell flat. I wasn't interested in the love story AT ALL which is saying something considering this is a chick flick.

Nicholas Sparks stories usually translate to film beautifully. The Notebook is a passionate love story that spans ages with interesting characters and a sad but romantic surprise twist. A Walk To Remember utilized another young starlet to capture the depth of a brief and tragic love that changed those who witnessed it and provided hope to the audience. I'm hoping it's just an absolutely horrendous screen adaption, but the script for The Last Song was lacking in any real emotion and the story line was jumpy, at best. I can't blame the actors for everything because it didn't seem like they had much to work with here.

 I know the book is always better than the movie and although I haven't actually read the book, the movie isn't really inspiring me to venture to this particular novel anytime soon. Seriously, is it a story about Family? First loves? Second chances? The movie poster says it's D) All of the Above AND the Moments in Life That Lead You Back Home. I say there's too many story lines and surprisingly, not enough story. The plot is weak, the performances sucked, and I would say utterly predictable, but at times I didn't know what the main focus was leaving me completely lost and that is not a good thing! I would have preferred predictable. 

Knowing it's based off a Nicholas Sparks novel, I expected a main character death in an overly emotionally wrought way, but I hoped it would be the boyfriend as this is also a tragic love story. Alas, I suspected and confirmed too late in that it was SPOILER ALERT the father. With 40 minutes left of the movie, cue the long, painful death and one too many insightful Miley moments set to powerful piano ballads in minor chords. It had me wishing every song was The Last Song. If it weren't for the fact that I recently and tragically lost my father I would have been too bored to cry. As it was, I broke down like a baby and bawled off and on for the last 20 minutes until I was able to wrench myself from the TV, drag my sorry ass upstairs, and blubber like an idiot to my husband in front of his friend. Thanks a lot for that Nicholas Sparks, Jeff van Wie (screenplay), Miley Cyrus, Greg Kinnear, and Julie Ann Robinson (director, in case you care). 

Overall, I found the movie incredibly draining. I'm glad I didn't pay money in theaters but got it for free on Starz HD which I then DVR'd and watched when, after flipping through over 800 cable channels, I deemed  there was literally nothing else on.