14 Months

I was never close to that side of the family. So when he called, it was unusual. I almost didn’t answer, it was late. But I did.

And I found out my dad was dead.

So now I answer every cal. Any call. Waiting for the same news. I’m closer to that side now. But still I answer. It’s not so unusual for one of them to call now. But I never send to voicemail. I never make a polite excuse. I claim no time as too sacred not to answer. I do steel myself for the bad news. I do sober immediately. I do hush a loud room, take a deep breath, pause. But I answer.

So when my phone rang just shy of 6am and I saw it was my grandma, I pulled from the throes of sleep. My grandma calls me now, but not this early. That’s something my dad would do. But never grandma. Something must be wrong. I answered without getting up.

“Hello?” I tentatively asked. Really wanting to know, “What’s the bad news?” Or “Who is it this time?”

“Good morning! You awake?” Too happy. So no one died while I slept.

“Yeah.” I lied. My husband rolled over, but he’s still sleeping.

“I wanted to tell you a joke.” I don’t interrupt. If grandma wants to tell a joke at 6am, you don’t questions her eccentricities. You listen and laugh when appropriate.

As she introduced Forest Gump to the Pearly Gates, I laughed. She asked if I was really awake. I guess that wasn’t the funny part. She proceeds with the joke.

Forest has to pass a test. Answer 3 questions correctly and he gets into Heaven. What are the 2 days of the week starting with T? Today and tomorrow. How many seconds are in a year? 12. Jan 2^nd, Feb 2^nd...What is God’s first name? Andy. Andy walks with me. Andy talks with me. Andy guides me. I laughed. My grandma laughed. She’s going to share the joke with my uncles and cousins later today. I was the first she told.

I once complained to my grandma that living out of state, I was last to know everything. Now she calls me first on everything. I was the first to know my grandpa’s sister passed away. I was the first to hear this joke. And grandma always points it out. “You’re the first. Out of everybody, I called you first.” That’s my grandma for you.

She reminds me it’s the 19^th. My daddy died on the 19^th. I didn’t remember. I remembered that’s when he died, you never forget that. But today is Dec. 19^th. It’s been one year and 2 months. And I forgot to remember to be sad. It wasn’t automatic. I thought about him a lot this week, but I didn’t associate the pending date. I thought ahead to Christmas and New Year’s and my little cousin’s 1^stbirthday. 14 months never flashed through my head. I guess it flashed through others. And now I am sad I forgot her grief too.

I don’t know what to say to console my grandma who called to tell me a joke at 6am before anyone else.

“”Thought you’d be getting ready for work and it sounded like some smartass answers your father would say.”

Now I really don’t know how to respond. Because it would be exactly like my father to call at an ungodly hour with a corny joke. Strike that. A LONG corny joke. Because he’s my dad and he was nothing if not annoying. And corny. And my daddy.

“Yeah,” I managed to say.

“Well, I just wanted to tell you I love you and have a good day at work. You gonna stay awake after I hang up?”

“Yeah,” I lied again. It’s still dark and I work from home. “I love you too.”

I hang up and lay back down. My husband is awake and asks if everything’s okay. “Just grandma, go to sleep.” Because how do I explain grandma calling with a Forest Gump joke? I don’t.

And at this hour with the world dark and unconscious and me half-asleep, it almost feels as if my dad was here. Telling me a stupid joke to start my day.

I'll Be There by Holly Goldberg Sloan

It was a happy surprise when I ordered I'll Be There by Holly Goldberg Sloan from Amazon. You see, after my bill for books over the last two years reached an "astronomical" (my husbands word, not mine) amount of more than $2,000 (not including books purchased at Borders in a single-handed, last-ditch effort to keep them open), Bryce decided a library card would make the perfect anniversary gift back in October. 

I was inclined to agree. 

For a while. 

Then even the library got too expensive! You see, the most accessible library for me was a tiny branch located in the mall right outside of Kohl's and downstairs from Ultra Diamonds. When I went to return books about a month ago I noticed a sign that Ultra Diamonds was letting their lease in just that location run out forcing an 80% off clearance. Well, a 4 carat Quartz ring, Garnet pendant necklace, and Rhodolite Garnet and Diamond pendant necklace with matching earrings later, it was most decidedly NOT the lesser of two evils.

Therefore, a compromise was made that I could continue to purchase my books from Amazon with an amendment that they must be used and hence, cheaper. I jumped on the bandwagon and with my savings (over last year), I immediately bought twice as many used books! Don't tell my husband.

I digress...

So, I purchased a used copy of I'll Be There and turns out, it was an advanced copy. Kind of cool to receive  an oddity like that for my collection. Anyway, I devoured the book in less than 6 hours of non-stop reading. I wouldn't call the book amazing, but definitely on the cusp of thought-provoking. I never connected with the main characters of Emily Bell or Sam Smith/Border enough to identify with them or feel any real emotion over their plight. In fact, the most interesting and real character of the entire novel was Sam's younger brother, the mute Riddle. When you get an insight into his thoughts, it's both beautiful and scary.

Sam and Riddle are kidnapped and physically and emotionally abused by their mentally-ill father. They are uneducated, unsociable outcasts, but both possess amazing talents and apparently, Sam is a super-model hottie when he cleans up. They find redemption in Emily Bell and her family only to have it ripped away by their father. Finally, they barely escape their father with their lives, and they must learn to survive on their own and for a time, without each other, as they find their way back to the Bells.

The story is a roller coaster journey of Sam finding Emily only to be ripped from her and then finding her again. Except, it's so much more than that. The story is remarkable, yet predictable in the way that you know you are being set up for a happy ending, you just don't know when you'll friggin get there.

What makes this novel noteworthy is the writing technique. Most novels use first person point of view. It allows the reader to truly become the main character and live the story through their eyes. It's also very restrictive because you cannot escape the "I" and "we." Third person limited adds for more complexity to the plot as you can explore the story from other characters point of views. However, the most difficult point of view to capture, in my humble opinion, is third person omniscient. And that is exactly what Ms. Sloan has done here. I'll Be There expertly bounces from one character to the next for a full, richer understanding of each person and the intertwining role they play in each others lives. Sometimes, they know their role and sometimes, only the reader understand the significance. But it is artfully crafted and beautifully maintained.

Furthermore, Ms. Sloan weaves her tale with minimal dialogue. There is plenty of character interaction. But she prefers to delve into the human psyche and examine each individual's reaction to the situation they are in and the reasoning behind their own actions. The story bounces, sometimes mid paragraph from one characters insights to a situation rolling seamlessly into another characters perception of the same situation. You are reading everyone's minds at once. Perfectly.

This book is unassuming and simple but well worth the read. There isn't much to hook the reader beyond an appreciation for the story Ms. Sloan is trying to tell and the way she tells it. The scenes pass quickly and while emotional circumstances occur compelling the reader forward, the writing becomes stale and often lost-in-thought without the dialogue. Only the most dedicated reader will enjoy this classic. Think of this as a Grapes of Wrath type project, you know it's a great book and should mean something in the bigger picture, but most of us just read the CliffsNotes. Although, I'll Be There is less boring, less confusing and contains less pages, if someone isn't pushing you to read it, you may find it difficult to get into. I find, it doesn't fit into any of the genres I am familiar with.