True Story

A few days ago, I stopped by the office of a potential customer. He was busy, so I left my card. He contacts me to set up a meeting. Today we meet.

All seems normal.

Except, he surprises me with some new-found information about me, my education and probing my experience. You know, stuff NOT on my business card. I was caught completely off-guard by this sudden turn of events. Do you know how disarming it is to talk to a total stranger who possesses knowledge on your past you didn't provide.

It wasn't creepy. Really, it was more funny....in a creepy way.

After coming to the conclusion he must have Google'd me, I came home and frantically reviewed what dirty little internet bugs pop up with variations of my name. Thankfully, I recently privatized many of my accounts and removed inappropriate content (some stuff I say makes for awkward conversation later). While locking my internet profile up tighter and throwing away the key, a light bulb went off over my pretty little head.

If HE can search ME, I most certainly can search HIM. It's only less weird when done in reciprocation.

To my surprise, a quick Google search only pulls up his Twitter account, which is private. But it links to his semi-private Facebook page where I wonderfully discovered he read the Twilight Saga and The Dresden Files-which I will tease mercilessly and praise, respectfully. And that's not all...FB gives up the MySpace account which, like the rest of society, hasn't been updated in years and has all the juicy shit we posted on the internet before we knew to make our accounts private, then forgot all about.

As we say in Las Vegas: "Jackpot, Baby!"

True Story

So I'm managing a large warehouse operation that currently has no warehouse or counter personnel. I've resorted to hiring a temp warehouse guy who takes care of all my fork-lifting and grunt-work needs. Don't get me wrong, he's great, but I'm still responsible for the counter work, customer service, phones, daily paperwork, and all my branch manage duties as well. It can be a little overwhelming. 

In an act of sheer brilliance, it is decreed I shall have the new BM for our new store help me out for the week. And get a little extra exposure considering he's only been at the job for 3 weeks now (2 weeks of which were spent setting up the new location). He doesn't know how to use 10 key or the 'TAB' key. He's a very smart, capable guy, but he doesn't grasp the concept that you can open multiple windows simultaneously. There's more, but let's sum it up: his computer skills are a little lacking. Needless to say, my job has become more difficult because instead of handling everything myself, I am forced to slow down to a snail's pace to train which tests my patience by the minute and creates extra work for me causing me to stay late. 

I tell you that so you can understand my fragile mental state when i tell you this:

This morning I am bouncing off the walls dealing with a customer who needs equipment delivered yesterday that isn't expected to come in on the truck until today which I then need to schedule with our delivery driver to drop at the job site asap, but the truck comes in and the product shifted and the unit is damaged so I have to take pictures, file a freight claim and calmly notify the customer so we can work out something else all the while having 4 phone lines constantly lit up-each a new order or a new problem. *gasp for breath* There are still 2 customers at my counter waiting to be serviced one of which is compiling a massive parts order requiring individual entry and with no barcode to scan this forces me to manually enter dozens of sku's based off memory while *pause for effect* the apprentice is royally botching the other customer's basic order so I'm supervising his entries and gracefully correcting his never-ending mistakes and running damage control on his fed-up customer... You get the picture. 

In the midst of all this a loud WHAH WHAH WHAH emits from my office. "WTH" I ask to nobody in particular. I take a moment to run into my office and investigate the ungodly noise. My computer looks fine; nothing's on fire. I simply shut my office door blocking off some of the wretched siren and promptly begin helping the customers at hand. I instruct my bitch-the temp- to check it out. He comes back to me stating he is all about the warehouse and is not computer savvy. FINE. Turning to the trainee, I tell him to handle it while I take over and finish with his customer. He turns off the computer and the noise continues so he stands a foot away from me, staring, absolutely flabbergasted. I swear, you'd think he just witnessed my computer re-enact The Exorcist. 

Not at all flustered by this turn of events, I prattle off the number for IT in between phone calls. "Do you want me to call them?" Um...yes. All I overhear from the conversation "yeah it just started....WHAH WHAH WHAH (why he didn't call from the room that was making the noise, I will never know)...I already tried that and it kept beeping...If you say so..." He proceeds to my office to turn the computer off and on again. The noise stops. 

Finally a reprieve from demanding customers allows me to consort over the issue. So what was it? Do I need a new computer? Did IT solve the problem? I am quickly informed by the rattled student the source of the noise was....

DRUM-ROLL PLEASE

The alarm clock. Yes, the elusive alarm clock I inherited with the office who foiled my every attempt to keep accurate time. The radio clock that annoyed me with it's incessant flashing of 12:00. The very one I pushed behind my clunky early 90's monitor instead of unplugging and trashing for the sheer fact that the cord tangled with my other cords in a Velcro wrap I was too lazy to deal with. The clock, which in my defense, had never made a single noise in the 14 months it resided on my desk chose NOW to go off hiding under my computer monitor. 

True Story